random thoughts and hopeless rants

“You have to learn to walk. You have to learn to talk. You have to wear that totally ridiculous hat your grandma bought you. You have no say in the matter. And when you get a little older, even though you get to choose your hats, you don’t get to choose what they put in those meatballs in the cafeteria, or when to fall in love. Sometimes things happens and you just have to deal.”

i just watched many moores’s How to Deal and loved it.  mandy plays the character of Halley who doesn’t believe in love or see the point of letting yourself fall in love.  every relationship around her has ended horribly so she’s sworn to never allow herself to be placed in the situation where she will (inevitably) fall out of love.  of course, she then meets macon who will provide the emotional roller coaster necessary for all 90’s movies about love.  i didn’t go into this movie thinking i’d get anything out of it other than a few laughs and a way to pass the time while i couldn’t sleep but… 

is it weird to say that i am halley?  i mean, i don’t have the excuse of growing up in a divorced family and seeing my best friend’s boyfriend die (luckily everyone around me seems to be quite in love). the decisions she makes, the way she protects herself from things that might happen, the fact that she tries not to give second chances but can’t help it.  i just watched a movie that should be called “Amberly, listen up or you’re going to live a miserable loveless life!”  i need to let my guard down when something feels right.

“Your afraid to go out with me because you might actually like me?”

let’s pretend that i’ve never had someone say that to me before… i can’t be worried about the fact that maybe, some time in the future (near or far) i will get hurt because it’s going to happen and when it does, i’ll be okay - it won’t kill me.  i’ve missed great opportunities because i was scared to toss someone a rope even though they were ready to climb over this wall i’ve built up around myself. 

“Oh Macon, I think I like you too much already to actually go out with you.”   “What kind of logic is that?”    “It’s logical logic. Haven’t you ever noticed that when two members of the opposite sex get together eventually someone ends up getting hurt?” 

i’ve lost count of how many times i have used this excuse in the past.  it always made perfect sense to me, but if i keep using this line of thought i don’t think i’ll ever be able to fall in love. i feel like this movie made it finally hit home.  thanks mandy moore… because this movie was filled with such great lines, i’ll end this with one of my favorites. enjoy.

“First loves are never really over. Nobody’s perfect, Sweetheart. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.”